A Milkman's Worst Fear
by Kari Mezmaru
Summary: Train has been on rehab from milk for six months now, but when he sees the milkman, what happens? Uh oh, somebody call animal control.


"_**Sometimes, keeping a cat who loves milk away from milk is a bad thing, but it sometimes has to be done so…Run milkman, run!"-Me.**_

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It was a normal day for Train, or, at least he hoped it was. He was sitting on the white felt couch of their new room, watching the birds go by in the dim cerulean sky; dawn wasn't yet upon them yet. He nervously tapped his foot as if thinking of something, and then glanced over to look at Sven and Eve; Rinslet had disappeared on some of her own quests. The green-haired man was smoking a cigarette and reading the daily paper, flipping through the pages, while Eve was playing with a white cat that was propped on top of her crystal ball. Sven took notice that Train was looking up at them, and looked up himself.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Train reassured, but it wasn't "nothing". Sven and Eve had been keeping him off milk for six months now because "He's really addicted to it." Train licked his lips nervously again, his foot still tapping constantly; his golden eyes were looking through the window and out onto the town. The window that was left open let in the cold autumn breeze that almost seemed to be competing with a winter breeze, seeing who was colder. Then came some car wheels rolling on the pavement, crackling the gravel underneath; it stopped, and then resumed again. This was a sign of a milkman, and Train knew it. He caught a glimpse of the front door being open slightly a little and then proceeded to it.

"Where are you going?" asked Eve with her stoic tone and expression. She was still fondling with the white cat's paws.

"To get some food for us," Train replied, before closing the door behind him and slinking off.

"This early in the morning? He's up to something," Sven said, putting down the newspaper. Sure enough, the man was right; minutes later a scream pierced the air and footsteps echoed through the window.

"Um, did you tie the unbreakable nylon on him?" Eve asked, looking up at Sven.

"Eh he," Sven chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head, "I guess I forgot."

"Should I get him?" Eve asked, not looking up from the cat.

"Yeah, you should," replied Sven. "I'll come with you."

**xxx**

"Somebody, help me!" shrieked the milkman as he ran down the street, terrified of the animal behind him. Train chased him like a lion, his eyes set for his one and only goal currently: the bottled up milk in the milkman's leather brown bag which moved slightly from the fewer bottles in it.

People gasped as they saw the two make a beeline down the street. "Is the guy crazy? Why is he chasing a milkman?" one murmured.

"I think that guy got loose from a rehab center," replied a teen girl.

"He's insane to be chasing after a milkman!"

"Mommy, who is that scary man?" The commotion and ruckus turned to full-length yelling and chasing after Train and the milkman after one declared this statement: "Somebody, call animal control!" Ironically, somebody actually did, and an animal wrangler expert came onto the scene.

"My name is Kiroshida Luey, expert animal wrangler!" the man introduced. He was dressed in a black cloak the covered his entire body except a few inches above his feet and neck and head. He had a strange haircut that could closely resemble a marine haircut and goofy looking eyebrows that actually looked like curled mustaches, and dimly lit brown eyes. All types of animal wrangler weapons adorned his back, some of which were sleep darts, a stun gun, and a net bazooka. His body was very well-built, and even with the cloak on you could tell he was muscular.

"Ah, uh, welcome Mr. Luey!"

"Indeed welcome me! I'm the world's best wrangler; there's no animal I can't put in a cage!" _'Wow…this guy has serious bragging issues'_ one person thought, totally unimpressed by Luey's antics. "Now, where is this homicidal cat?"

"He went down that alley," somebody said while pointing southwest towards a large alley crevice.

"Okay, I'm on the case!" As soon as Luey left, somebody yelled,

"Animal Control sent us a lunatic! We should destroy their headquarters!"

"I heard they're not very far from here; let's get them!" With raised torches and pitchforks most of the people in the large, huddled, group started marching west towards the Animal Control center. Their fate…well, it's a story for another time.

**xxx**

Eve watched the crowd split into tiny groups of people after the famed animal wrangler incident. She watched as Train turned yet another corner chasing after the mailman, who was suddenly slowing down. Eve was surprised, but did not show it, at the milkman's amazing vitality and endurance. Without a word she jumped down from a roof and landed straight in front of Train in a flurry of white feathers that had emerged from her back to soften her landing. With her first step onto the ground the angel wings receded back into her back.

"Sir, please get out of here," Eve warned, still watching Train with cautious eyes. The milkman nodded and turned to run away, thankful that God had sent and angel showing him mercy.

"Eve, get out of the way!"

"Train, you've got to stop being addicted to milk; it's like your drug now."

"Whatever, I just want some milk _now_!" With this, Train began to run again, but this time he had to dodge from side-to-side to avoid Eve's hair blades that were being thrust at him. With a giant leap Train jumped onto a flight of steel stairs and began running upwards. Eve then turned her hair into a giant hammer and propelled herself upwards to face Train, but instead the battle Train was to fight next was to be with Sven.

"Train, stop acting like a crazy, obsessed idiot!" Sven hollered at him, launching a net from his suitcase. Train, failing to notice the net, collapsed as it hit against his body; the steel cleavers on its edge dug deep into the roof, trapping him. "Hurry, Eve, let's tie him up and bag him now!" Eve attempted to get close enough to turn the steel net into a bag, but she was too slow. Train whipped out Hades from its sheath and shot a full circle around him.

"Bye-bye, Sven and Eve." With a wave of his left hand, Train vanished towards the lower rooms of the abandoned building; in the next moment he burst through a glass window, flying through the air with glass shards whipping by his head. Sven and Eve watched as the milk-crazed gunmen swept through the streets with new regained speed.

"Eve, do you think it was a good idea to take Train off milk?"

"I was just asking myself the same question…"

**xxx**

The milkman literally _thanked_ God. He would pray for him every night in thanks for the angel he sent from above. It was _literally_ an _angel_; his brown eyes had not deceived him. He stroked back his normal black hair as he clutched his chest to catch his breath, thankful that the lunatic was gone. Yet…he was as unlucky as the next guy.

"Hey, you!" shouted a voice; the milkman turned to locate it. Who would it be but none other than Kiroshida Luey, walking up to him. "You're a milkman…and you tired and sweating…you got chased by that cat right?"

"Cat? What're you ta--?"

"Don't worry man! I'm on the case! I'm Kiroshida Luey, the most famous animal wrangler there ever was!"

"But I thought Shawn Iwick--" the milkman started

"That fraud? I'm 10 times better than him!" Luey bragged before starting to drag the milkman back the way the terrified man had came. "Here, I'll show you by bagging this cat problem of yours!"

"N-No, no, please don't take me back there, please--!"

"Aw, c'mon, lighten up, old man, you're acting as if this animal's a superhuman or something."

"But that's what I'm trying to say! This cat isn't a cat, it's--!"

"A loose lion?! That makes everything even more exciting!" Luey answered in an aloof tone. The milkman mentally slapped himself on the forehead of his mental body. _'I'm having another lunatic drag me back to the first one, but this time this guy's an idiot! ...And he has bragging issues!' _The milkman now wondered if God had started to turn on him; maybe the angel was just a minor mercy? Then came the first toture: Luey started to tell of all his stories as an animal wrangler. _'Please somebody, make it **stop**!'_ Heavy rasping was then heard in front of them, and Luey stopped recalling his oh so "fond" memories.

"Oh…this is the lion. Oh well, humans are animals, so there's an excuse for…this!" Luey dropped the milkman and pulled out his stun gun and started shooting stun pellets at Train; in return, Train pulled out Hades and blocked every single one of them. The unmerciful death glare in Train's eyes terrified the milkman so much that he almost had a seizure. Luey then pulled out his next bazooka and shot one at Train, but Train skillfully dodged to the side and smacked Luey on the back of his skull with the butt end of his gun. Luey growled, and attempted to side-swipe Train, but was blocked by Train jumping on his shoulder and kneeing him in the face; his gun had already been sheathed and his hands were in his pockets.

Luey lay on his hands and feet with a determined look in his eyes. Train once again whipped out his gun and aimed it Luey, shot it once, and then resheathed it. Luey sat with a horror stricken face as he stared at the bullet hole imbedded in the wall next to him, just inches off of his left ear. He slumped to the ground, fainting on contact.

"Now…," Train muttered slightly as he grabbed the milkman's leather bag; the milkman had been so terrified that he instinctively gave Train the bag. Train pulled out all the bottled of milk and open one, and then chugged it down quickly. When he was finished he opened another and sighed. "I finally got my milk."

"Eh?!" was all the milkman could say from his petrified state. All Train did was just sit there, drinking his milk to satisfaction like a little boy enjoying candy.

Train returned to normal after that incident with the milkman, and Sven and Eve vowed _never_ to put Train on rehab again. Thus, Train enjoyed all the milk he wanted, even raising up a high bill for the trio. The milkman, on the other hand, died of heart failure two weeks later…

…**Not**! The milkman didn't pass on, but he did move himself and his family to a different city so he could get a better job there…and hope that there were no ravaging people chasing after him for milk.

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**Aw, the poor milkman! Oh well, Train got his milk in the end after all. Anyway, please review!**


End file.
